Romantic triangle, Lulu and weapons, Granma and gunPreview. Based on the first of Janet Evanovich's screamingly silly series, Stephanie Plum (Katherine Heigl brunette), fired, broke, hires on as New Jersey bounty hunter to cousin Vinnie (Patrick Fischer), helped by secretary Connie (Ana Reeder). Steph voices over the intro, and throughout. Her first assignment, for the largest profit, $50K, tracks her high-school crush Joe Morelli (Jason O'Mara) with help of always black-clad professional "Ranger" Ricardo Manoso (Daniel Sunjata). "I'm busy." "I'm naked." Good lines.
Plum's low cut shirt, at the start and throughout, shows more cleavage than 'fluffy klutz' I envisioned. I also forgot divorce. I also thought Ranger would be better looking. He does teach her guns, call her "babe", and keep her supplied with vehicles after hers blow up (running gag in book series). I like that she took a big gun over small. Joe does call her "cupcake", looks tough and cuddly, although bright baby blues, not smoldering dark Italian.
Tracking missing prostitute Carmen via her boyfriend Benito (Gavin Keith Umeh), whore on the corner, buxom Lula (Sherri Shepherd), sends Steph to local gym, and Benito's manager, Jimmy Alpha (John Leguizamo - Ice Age Sid, Executive Decision, To Wong Foo ..). When Benito attacks, Joe saves her. Benito has made three rape victims disappear before they could press charges.
Family dinners provide comic relief, with dad (Joe Mustillo), and Grandma Mazur (Debbie Reynolds). Match-making mom (Debra Monk) invites Bernie (Adam Paul). Bernie knew victim Ziggy "played the numbers" across the road at Sal (David Flick? xx) the butcher's.
Ranger picks Joe's lock to let in Steph. "Someone always has to have the other one's back. Always." She finds no evidence, but lifts his Explorer van keys. Now I remember, all her cars explode. For fast cash, she takes on Mr Earling (Harry O'Toole), flasher in her building "fresh air is good for the boys". Joe, pulling up behind her, is not amused. Next FTA (Fail To Appear), Lonnie (Michael Laurence), steals her gun, shoots Ranger, who always wears Kevlar. Ranger calls her from Cho (Leonardo Nam)'s; her witness is dead.
In the book, Lula was sadistically attacked in X-rated places. Steph warns cop cousin Eddie Gazarra (Nate Mooney) that Carmen's neighbor Rosa (Olga Merdiz) is next. I wondered how they would handle the situation. Here, Steph finds her beaten on the street corner. At least she goes for more target practice. In her apartment, Joe is waiting, needs help, makes her dinner. "I'm bigger, stronger, and a lot meaner." "I'm in it for the cash." I never understood the title before the movie, "I'm in it only For The Money." Glass window to her bedroom, he doesn't peek, but we do.
Next morning, he gets her to doff her top to tape a wire. Morty Beyer knocks, wants his file for Joe back, lifts her keys. "God is going to get you for this." I forgot the Explorer exploded. Eddie, called to the scene, gets called to Rosa's building, also torched by a Molotov cocktail, but Eddie did listen and move Rosa earlier.
While buying a new shower curtain from Bernie, she sees Flat-Nose deliver to Sal's and pick up barrels. I remember these barrels. Hoping Joe is listening in, she tails the truck to quiet waterfront docks, in dim twilight. She sees a razor on a boat shelf. What's a "drop-boat"? Joe smells heroin. Fireworks? Bodies, I remember. "Don't puke. You'll wreck the crime scene."
She yells her head off. How stupid is that, within listening distance of the baddies, then stands around saying "Crap". She should've taken self-defense training same time as guns. Idiot. Then she leads Jimmy to Joe. No wonder he calls her "Bo-peep". Target practice paid off, just a butt bullet. Did she not listen when he said cops are in danger in jail.
Lulu now works for Vinnie. They're on a second name basis, but he brings her a cupcake. She opens the door with a giggle. All is forgiven.
1 Making of / Behind the scenes Evanovich, producer, director, actors, co-writer Liz Brixius used abridged version on iTunes. Sheesh. clips, pages, interview lines. Great books, great movie.
2 Bond girls real female bounty hunters, two sets of sisters (one owners, others agents), "Lipstick" in pink outfits, truck, even weapons. 2 ex-LAPD cops= point taser + handcuffs, 3rd=pepper spray or decoy. $10-50K (costs 10% = 1-5K) x 100/ month have 10 FTA film used real terms "recon" for reconnaissance real footage best graveyard shirt 6 pm - 4 am = surprise
3 Gag reel sweet muffed lines
4 Deleted Scene long kiss in silver sportscar "Cannolis are my specialty." Yes, attraction better understated.
Subtitles: English, Spanish ; Audio: English, French